8 Days Of ChristmasDestiny's ChildAlbumDescription: PRODUCT DESCRIPTION Destiny's Child - 8 Days of Christmas AMAZON I'd never want to visit Destiny's Child's homes for the holidays if their nonsensically named holiday album 8 Days of Christmas is any indication of what they've got under the tree. Chilly forced and overdone this mixed bag of modern classics tarted-up traditional carols and a trio of tunes penned by Beyoncé Knowles doesn't conjure up a single warm-and-fuzzy image of chestnuts roasting on an open fire or Jack Frost nipping at your nose. Rather it's just another forum to showcase the band's Gucci bag of vocal gymnastics and crass materialism. The Texas trio takes seasonal classics such as Irving Berlin's White Christmas Silent Night and Little Drummer Boy and embellishes them with its own trills and off-kilter harmonies overwhelming the songs so that their simple beauty is totally obscured. On the eighth day of Christmas my baby gave to me a pair of Chloe shades and a diamond belly ring brags Knowles in the title song--which is a take-off on the 12 Days of Christmas--without ever explaining why they loped off four days. In addition the band are shamelessly self-indulgent throughout the dozen songs found here taking untold liberties such as renaming the Carol of the Bells Opera Bells and recasting Silver Bells into Platinum Bells to reflect their multi-platinum status. But the low point of the record is when Destiny's Child hawk their own Hasbro Toy manufactured dolls in the intro of Platinum Bells: Ladies remember long ago we asked Santa to give us Christmas Dolls? But this year the dolls are you and me under the tree. Humbug. --Jaan Uhelszki
